My adoption journey-healing trauma in kids from hard places

We have adopted 5 children with varying degrees of trauma backgrounds. The first sibling set of 3 came to us in 2014. They lived with relatives, friends, endured food insecurity, hunger, malnourishment, and neglect. The youngest was 3, still in diapers, still drinking from a bottle, still sucking a pacifier. The 4 year old couldn't sit still, kept asking the same questions over and over ( What's your name? What color is the sky? Is that the sky?) The 8 year old tantrummed regularly for three days at a time, stopping to eat and refusing to sleep.

All three started in the same bed, with clothes with holes or that didn't fit. Garbage bags of broken toys and strange clothing showed up periodically after parental visits. Nothing was really usable. We bought clothing for the kids and fitted thin appropriate underwear and undershirts, socks, sneakers, shorts for summer, and pajamas. The kids would leave my house in matching new outfits with sneakers for running and come back two hours later in other clothes and flip flops. What happened to their other clothes? It's one of life's great mysteries.

The kids would talk to their parents on the phone every night. The parents would promise that they would be back home soon. Ten days after arriving at our house, their parents were to go to family court to determine custody. (We were told nothing beyond this information.) The parents assured the kids that everything was fine and that they would be able to pack their stuff and come home the next day.

When they left court the next day, we received a call from the caseworkers stating that everything had been postponed until August 25 and asking if we would keep the kids for the summer. They had some profound deficits but surely we could handle things for a few months. Right?

Healing Little Me

I remember when I was a small child. My earliest memories are of fighting parents, stress, stress, not enough money, time, car use, cooperation. There was not enough time, attention, patience.
There was always enough food. Eat and leave me alone. Eat while I pay attention to something else, someone else. But, Mom, look what I can do! I learned to be easy, make it easy, feed myself, be helpful, help everyone around me. Maybe then we could all be happy.
I remember fighting for my time and space. For a smile, for comfort, for love, for hugs. My Mom was the only one handing them out, which meant my cousins were in line too. My first brush with lack and scarcity. There was not enough.
My Mom left. No one would tell me where she went. Everyone pretended not to know. The scarcity reign became a noose around my neck. I competed. I competed at Show and Tell, at having a better life, at getting what I needed. I was good at bringing attention to myself, and not always in a good way. Others brought their own agendas when meeting my needs, they viewed it as a contract that I would then reciprocate. I didn't know. I didn't know about that deal. But, it was the only deal I knew. It was the only way I knew to get my needs met.
I forgive everyone I have been competitive with, everyone I took advantage of to gain attention, I forgive myself for needing attention and for reaching out in a competitive manner to get my needs met. I forgive those who Did not freely give their affection. I release this. I release them. I surrender to my Higher Power. Thank you. I am grateful for my experiences and for an end to my competing ways.

Seventh Generation plant-based laundry detergent

It's been a while since I posted here: I am trying new products and am going to be trying Seventh Generation laundry detergent. In my experience, natural laundry detergent leaves my clothes smelling like feet. This brand promises to be awesome! I will keep you posted.

I was selected to try Seventh Generation's Free & Clear laundry detergent made for sensitive skin, for FREE! Join me in #generationgood to see if you qualify too, or get other opportunities. http://www.generationgood.net

After Christmas

It's that time of year, after Christmas-when all the toys and clothes and gifts have been put away. The trees have been taken down, but the furniture has not returned to its rightful place. In this time, I can walk through my house and see the empty space that resides there.

This feeling makes me want to organize my entire house, one room at a time, filling the empty spaces in the living room with items that are no longer required for daily living. Toys that are now too young for the people living here, books that have been outgrown or are no longer useful, or there information has been absorbed into all of the brains and must now be released so that others can find joy in knowing this information, too.

I am listing those extraneous material goods on local Yard Sale Webpages to get rid of them as quickly as possible. It seems many people are in need of these things. But, what happens to the stuff that does not sell? It cannot stay in my living room forever.

This reminds me of the orphans all over our world. What happens when people become extraneous? Forgotten? Unnoticed? Trafficked under our noses? What happens when a portion of society is thought of as expendable? I am working to save one.

Won't you help, too? Even small amounts make a difference.

Thank you and God bless you!

A Place at MY Table/Happy Birthday to Me!

This is my birthday month. This month, in honor of my birthday, I am taking the
                            Coffee Challenge.

Coffee Challenge: This month, I am making coffee at home instead of buying it. A medium coffee at Tim Horton's is $1.62. I will multiply that by 5 days ($8.10) and put it into our hosting fund!

In honor of my 39th birthday (yes, I actually turn 39), I dare you to take the coffee challenge!

What? You only make coffee at home? Then, I challenge you to buy your coffee with a coupon this month (Save $1.50 on 2 Dunkin' Donuts or save $2.00 on Kauai) and donate the savings.

I know it may seem like a little bit, but if we put all of the little bits together, we can do BIG things

There are some really amazing opportunities out there where your donations will be well used. I am a BIG fan of One Day's Wages. They are doing BIG things, buying mosquito netting, helping with clean drinking water efforts, etc.

But, my favorite is helping orphans. You can donate through our PayPal account, all funds will go to orphan hosting. Or, you can send a message and I can give you more information and other ways to donate. I can even send you a receipt you can use for your taxes!


Thank you and God bless you!

A Place at MY Table/A Little About ME

Where to begin? I moved a lot growing up and this enabled me to learn about different cultures in the U.S. As I got older, my Mom went back to school and became a Teacher For Speakers of Other Languages. I often participated in class and group activities and came to love interacting with people from all cultures.

When I was 16, I spent my Easter vacation on a mission trip in Haiti. We were asked to put a roof on a church. In my spare time, I fed every child I could, I played hackey-sack (the closest thing they had to a ball) with all the area kids, and I ran around with a smile on my face for every child I met. So many were thin, short, and gaunt, but they all smiled back with hope in their eyes. I came home forever changed, with a heart for missions and a plan to change the world.

I have two biological children, 18 & 8. They are beautiful and independent. But, we all feel that they should have more siblings. My husband has 5 siblings and I have 3. Two children is not enough for us. We can all agree on that. My husband's family came from Poland. He remembers sending clothing and other goods to Poland when he was a child. He has a heart for all things Eastern European. I have a heart for all things orphan. It is a match made in heaven.

We learned about New Horizons for Children. They have a hosting program that allows orphans to come to the U.S. and learn about life skills, how to cook and clean and live in a family environment. This sounded perfect to us. We put in our application and hosted for the summer.

This winter, we have an incredible opportunity to host a 15 year old girl. This girl lives n an orphanage with adult caregivers, not family. She shares everything she owns with all of the other children who live there too. She has a bright smile, a bubbly personality, and becomes feisty if she feels threatened or insulted. These are the children I am blessed with, the feisty, the loud, the ones with a great sense of humor. The ones that can be difficult to love, but I have to wrap my arms around them and earn their trust with unconditional love.

We just found out that this girl was available for this winter. And, that we would have a one week deadline to come up with the $1500 to host her. As our fundraiser, we are selling cookbooks. See below. If you do not wish to order a cookbook, but still would like to donate to show your love, we will definitely pass on the message that God loves her so much that He inspires strangers with His love!

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for your support!

 

Thank you and God bless you!

Happy Orphan Sunday!

Happy orphan Sunday!! A day of reflection. Not everyone can open their homes, not everyone can work with hurt and broken children, not everyone can be as loving and open and understanding as is needed to work with orphans. But, everyone can do a little something to support those who do.

If you donate $10 I will send you the beautiful recipe book shown below. It has 38 clean eating recipes. And, you will receive a $10 off coupon for www.jocoburn.com.
Thank you for your support!

 

Thank you and God bless you!